She's got everything she needs, she's an artist, she don't look bad.

The best thing about having a fire in your apartment these days is the fact that firemen make it so easy for you to move out. Instead of having to move all your prized possessions down the five flights of steps they throw it all out the window and really save you the hassle. What sounds better than running in a place with a hose, breaking everything, then throwing everything out the window? Maybe just a Mister Softee on a June-ish day.

The best thing about working for a newspaper is they send you to Cancer events in Flushing-Meadows Park. You get there and drive all the way down Roosevelt Ave, then down Willets Bay, then around Shea, then the tennis stadium, then you park at the globe and ask everyone where the Cancer benefit is and even the cop says, "I think I would know about a cancer event in my park!" It's at this point you realize you've been had by the Editor once again and sent to a fake assignment that doesn't even exist. But you can always make the best of it and be the creepy skateboarder with holes in his shoes and no board watching all the other skaters, with a camera.
This kid did a three flip nosegrind half cab out across the grate but I missed it, whoops.

Once again the kids win the prize for coolness. I went straight out after this and bought streamers and a full red jogging gear.

The kids were skating good and all but this kid had the smoothest, most effortless style. Even though I don't own a company I told him I wanted to sponsor him. Please don't mistake the bike in the background for the girl with the streamers. That girl don't need no training wheels!

QUESTION MARK AND THE MYSTERIANS.

If you show up to a fire before the firemen it looks slightly suspicious, especially when you have a camera.

Najif, getting his photograph taken, and interviewed by Albin.

Eryka Badu sang so hard at Dave Chappelles free block party in Fort Green that her wig flew off.


Lower 48 puts on their serious game face in the studio.

PORKCHOP TIME TRAVELS.

On 28 April, 2007 through 30 April, 2007, Jon Winfield Nicholson, in cooperation with the Grace Space, bring you "The Life and Times of Fritztabulous Von Super Bonn." Fritztabulous Von Super Bonn is the inventor visionary behind Wonder Woman's illusive "Invisible Airplane." Based on original drawings, Jon has replicated Fritzabulous' greatest invention- the "SS Tabernacle"- an invisible spaceship made of smoke and mirrors for traveling to the distant land of Furr City through aural excitement. At 8:00PM, Saturday night, 28 April, 2007, Jon Nicholson will summon the Lowah of Fritztabulous Von Super Bonn and enter the The SS Tabernacle for the seventy two hour musical voyage to Ganymede's capitol of Furr City.

I secretly met with Porkchop before his 72 hour time travelling party, this is in the northwest squandron of the basement of the "SS Tabernacle."

Here's the interview:
THANK YOU: So what's the name of your ship?
PORKCHOP: The S.S. Tabernacle.
TY: How long are you gonna be staying in there for?
PC: 72 hours.
TY: What do you plan on doing for that long in the S.S. Tabernacle?
PC: Well my plan is to make a stationary space trip to the moon of Ganymede
TY: What gave you the idea to time travel to Ganymede?
PC: Well, I figure that once we really get it moving the S.S. Tabernacle is capable of moving very fast, I figured 72 hours would be sufficient enough time to get to Ganymede, and go to the capital.
TY: Are there any gifts you would bring to the people of Ganymede?
PC: They are not people, you wouldn't refer to them as people. They are an unspoken word.
TY: Have you met any of them or spoken to any of them
PC: From time to time. This is the very first time I'll be bringing any other people with me.

Pumpkin head and the street collapsers.

Last Autumn, after cutting this meticulous Pumpkin and baking some seeds up, I ended up saving many a bicycle deliveryman's life by alerting all passerbye's that their was indeed a hole collapsed in the street.

They patched up the hole and now there is another hole which they patched up today. So you can be sure that this summers Queens blackout should be ten times worse when my entire street collapses. But hey, on the bright side of things I'd endure one week without electricity for a free summer of Con-Ed anyday.

I thought it was particulary bogus that this guy had to do all the work and didn't even get a vest or a helmet while the other guy smoked cigs and pointed the whole time.

CORNER STORE ROBBERY

After a long night at Beast's B-day I walked down 1st avenue and walked into the deli for a quarter pound of Turkey and something to drink, Some crazy girl with a "Big Buck Hunter" gun and huge hoops was stickin' the place up and I just thought to myself, "Ahh, I don't got time for this!" So I walked out and went down the street to Punjabi.

Beast and Amelia's fantabulous b-day pukage of gameroom corners.

Carol used to pick peaches off of tree's after school as a little kid in Colombia, now she's carrying around a baby kitten she named "PEANUT" in a basket. Some girls are just cute.

This guy was being a bit creepy all night, just staring at girls and making that invisible throat groan thing. So instead of moving away, we swarmed him. "You wanna get in a picture with Lordy?" You never saw a guy jump up so fast to get in a picture.

More proof of silent swarmage, Drew gets on one knee and proposes to a plumbers crack.

No joke, once Lordy got close and Drew proposed the ol' toad turned into a prince, the same purple and all.

Wake up, wake up, wake up, it's the first of the month.

Here goes the guitar maniac Brendan. How cool would it be to sit on a stage and play guitar and look up to see more than ten thousand people screaming crazy with balloons dropping all over the place? I don't know, I was just there taking photo's trying to get a free drink with my bracelet.

Did you ever want to make your roomate shut up so bad you sat there out of boredom and Matrix'ed their mouth shut and then screamed at your computer and laughed at it? I haven't really done that either but the Beast makes a mean tuna-fish sandwich, whether you deduct points for no chopped apples or not.

A follow up to his kids picture, Mr. Ruta makes the little kid in the background wonder to himself, "Damn, I gotta do math homework today, clean the iodine spill on the carpet, and.... Oh shit!" Flat ground ollie. Better than the scene in Griswalds Vacation where Chevy Chase is running to Wally World.

If you don't like Bowling you suck and Everyone I know hates you. Heather destroys competition with a strike at Diversey Bowl.

People think taking photo's for a zine is really glamorous but the truth is I had to dress my roomate up like the Fonz and hand paint a picture in the background.