AS GOOD AS IT GETS.

THE MURDER SECTION.

I had the privilege of attending the Bears vs. Vikings game with my sister on the 28th of December. Explosive on all accounts, including a nice scuffle in the bathroom during halftime where no one could even throw any punches because they had so many layers on. And the Bears fucked it up in overtime too. Needless to say we were a happy bunch. People in the murder section have the best sense of fitting funny words together into a sentence, for example, "Yeah!!! Light his pussy-ass faggot face up!" This is normal screaming from each individual surrounding me. The little kid in front of me would look right up to his dad each time an assemblage of words similar to this occurred and his father would just say, "Don't repeat that." And you know for sure little Timmy went to the playground the next day after lunch and was all, "Yeah!!! Light his pussy-ass up motherfucker."

SUPER LATE NIGHT.

I didn't even notice any girls dancing at this party until I was leaving. Unbelievable. I shot one on my way out the door. Every mind seems oblivious to her movements and that dude in the bottom left is creeping me out, he followed me out the door and made me write down the make and model of my camera and just kept saying, "Wow, of my god, wow!"
I was like, "Dude, this piece of shit costs 40 bucks, just go fucking get one tomorrow," and then crushed a large bacon cheeseburger.

MY NEW FAVORITE SPOT TO HANG OUT LATE NIGHTS.

WHEN THUGS, DRUGS, AND THUGS COLLIDE.

...(Sprinkled with a couple keepin' the peace white guys, super honorable mention for the scared as shittin-in-my-pants white guy in the background.)

THE ANSWER.

SNUMBRELLA.

This woman had the biggest heart of gold and begged me to email her the photo. Unfortunately I lost her address. Too bad.

PUNJABI DREAMS.

KRISSIE.

GUNPRESENTS.

ELI AS BING.

Have you ever seen Eli Reed sing karaoke? He's like a young Bing Crosby

THE DARDYS AT PIANOS.

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JUST WAITING FOR THE TRAIN.

Never spoken a word to this girl in my life but god damn she appears to be looking right into the lens.

SPOILING IS MY GAME!

TWO MOTHERFUCKING MONTHS!!!

Every time Pete comes over he spills something on my floor (Most times beer, and even one time a beer with his endless cigarette juices). Thats carpeting bitch! And he never attempts to clean it. So he asks to stay over at five in the morning in sub-zero temps and I oblige. I even made the fucker a little bed on the ground with an egg-foamy and a blanket. I wake up at ten in the morning and he has disappeared. A whole glass of water spilled on top of the blanket which bled through to the egg-foamy and through that to the carpet.
"Thats it Pete, you're banned from my place, ONE MONTH!"
He just laughed it off, and in a fit of rage I pulled out the Breakfast Club special with hand-horns,
"Thats it motherfucker, TWO MONTHS! You're banned two months!"

COBWEB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quite possibly one of my favorite people on the planet, (And I'm sure some others might agree) Cobweb rides atop a train in the loop holding up four fingers. There was this one time I was with him at a party and it was a whole crew of us and he takes down his pants to a death metal song and starts twirling his chair around like Michael Jackson after Ronson-ing up his pubic hair and lighting his kingdom on fire. We were laughing our asses off and every other person stopped and watched in complete horror/shock. Then my friend Justin tried to recreate the scenario some time later and used wayyy too much Ronson and almost destroyed his chances of children. This photograph was taken by Joey, and I was introduced to it by Chris Silva.

HEART.

I was walking past the brooklyn banks and this kid was skating on a shit-wind-snowy day. Unbelievable.